It is a nasty morning at Oldham Athletic’s Chapel Road training ground: the rain constant and the wind gusts shifting its path to ensure that every side of you is wet. But on the side of the pitch, a group of men in matching tracksuits and shorts are beaming. They aren’t part of the first team and never will be, although they love the game. But Oldham increasingly consider them as part of the club.
The men are from Angels United, a local football team. They are here as part of the EFL’s Week of Action, which connects professional clubs with organisations in their local community and celebrates the constant work of community trusts.
This partnership already holds weight. Before their home game with Barrow on 11 October, Oldham’s first team warmed up at Boundary Park in the pink-and-blue halved shirts of Angels United. On their backs were names to which they were unfamiliar. They and the colours are tragically symbolic.
Angels United was formed in 2020 by a group of men who all shared one thing: the loss of a child in pregnancy, birth or infancy. They came from across Greater Manchester, loved football and figured that playing the sport may be an accessible vehicle for supporting each other in person.
Olly is one of Angels United’s founders. He and wife Mia had suffered one miscarriage when they fell pregnant with twins, Poppy and Dotty, in 2019. They had twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome and were born still after 23 weeks and six days.
“We emerged out of an existing support group and we all have awful reasons for being here,” Olly says.
“But we also know that we can make a difference. Everyone knows about football, but they still underestimate its power. The day after Poppy and Dotty’s funeral I went to watch my team Gillingham play. I stood on the terrace, Gills won 1-0 and for a while I just felt normal.
“I reached out to Oldham before baby loss awareness week and they came straight back. For the players to warm up with the names of our babies on their backs is a show of support to us that they cannot even understand the importance of. We are a community built upon turning loss into legacy and this club have been incredible in their support for that.”
The club train on Tuesday nights at Wright Robinson College in Abbey Hey and play matches too. There is competition, because football demands it, but their greater aim was to provide a space to discuss the trauma and grief they all shared.
All of the players had understandably struggled with mental health issues following their life-changing experiences. This is the club that nobody wants to be a part of but is forever glad and grateful for it when they get here.
Today’s training begins with Oldham manager Micky Mellon talking to each of the Angels United players individually to learn their stories. He is adamant that this should not merely be a watching brief but a chance for Angels United to understand why they are here, the impact they can have (as well as the vice versa) and that this should be the start of something.
As the first-team players go through training drills and break out into match scenarios, they chat to those watching during breaks. Many will not have known of Angels United before 11 October and, hopefully, none will suffer the same experiences.
Ben is a more recent arrival. He and his partner became pregnant last year. At 12 weeks, they learned that their son had triploidy, where chromosomes are tripled rather than doubled. The outcomes were brutal: either let their son pass naturally or ease his pain before then. After taking the relevant tablets, Ben’s partner gave birth to their son, born asleep.
“I didn’t know what to do,” Ben says. “I wanted to protect my partner but I realised that I was struggling badly too. I contacted an organisation who directed me here. I got in touch via Instagram and they welcomed me in.
“It’s not just a kickabout; you are there to get better, to share a pitch with people but then continue every day when you are away from the pitch. Every morning there are messages checking in with people. It’s a special place; you have to understand that.”
Angels United now have an online community that extends beyond training and matches, supporting around 200 families in the Greater Manchester area. They check in with each other daily via WhatsApp in an open environment where everybody – whether they play football or are even particularly interested in it – is welcome and invited to share and open up as much as they are comfortable.
The communal experience, at a time when individuals and couples can often feel alone, clearly helps. Everybody here knows that grief isn’t linear and doesn’t book an appointment.
And so what began with a single football kickabout has grown: coffee mornings, community walks, workshops for those who seek out education on the topic of child bereavement. They have linked with other organisations and so can direct people elsewhere. And, if someone feels strong enough that they do not need to rely upon Angels United any longer, it is a fine graduation. The door will always be left open.
What is so inspiring about the morning at the training ground is how Oldham Athletic, its leaders and its public faces, clearly understand the symbiosis of this relationship. We all go through stuff, some of it unspeakably hard to process. Oldham get that Angels United rely upon the amplification of their message, but they can also rely upon them in turn.
“We feel for these people and so if we can support them in any way then that is our duty,” Mellon says. “Any time they want to come in and see us, they can. I admire them, quite honestly, for the way that they draw strength from each other. Their grief is unimaginable. But I hope that they know that they can reach out to us at any time. It’s an open door policy.
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“It’s about understanding that people aren’t different, are not alone, because they have suffered. I surround myself with people and I suffer with mental health. I have to reach out and talk to people or speak about how low I am. And I’m only too happy to speak to others as a result.”
Angels United have big ideas. They are a fully registered charity that campaigns for better services for bereaved parents and for training of student midwives to better understand their needs.
The dream plan – and it may well happen – is to create a permanent bereavement hub in Greater Manchester that offers full support: counselling, workshops, discussion groups and exacting programmes that allow bereaved parents to lean upon others.
It’s hard to think of a better exhibition of what football means to people as a force of connections and social support. It also reinforces something that is far too easily forgotten: professional football clubs don’t only exist as Saturday afternoon entities. Often they mean more on Thursday afternoons and rainy, windy Tuesday mornings.
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