Gift shopping is a joy for some and a hateful experience for others, but football-themed presents can save much time and frustration for those inclined to the latter.
Whether you’re really stuck for what to buy or just simply want to see the weird and wonderful things that football clubs will sell you, The i Paper has you covered this Christmas.
Here I present a selection of the finest offerings from Premier League teams, ranging from pure tat to items that genuinely might end up on your own Christmas list.
Festive footy options
For seasonal must-haves, there is a wide range on offer. Newcastle United have a “stylish” Santa hat (£10), Tottenham Hotspur will sell you a stocking (£10) to keep all your other sport-related presents in, and Chelsea stock branded baubles (£14), apparently an “essential item” for supporters.
Football tat: the good, the bad and the juggly
There is no theme here, just a collection of the weirdest football-based gifts I could find. For any aspiring football-obsessed clowns, six football juggling balls (£7.86) are an essential (and no I definitely didn’t just include these for the heading).
AFC Bournemouth win the strangest gift competition, with their page feeling more like Amazon or Temu as you scroll down. I’m convinced they would sell you a Bournemouth-emblazoned tank if they could…
On offer is a branded pop-up tent (£45), ideal if you’re heading to the beach, and if you want to become a better footballer whilst you’re there, you can buy a football training set (£45).
Obviously you’ll want to make sure your shoes are nice and snug as you work on your dribbling, so you’ll want to add some shoe laces (£3.50) too.
Continuing your day of activity, you might feel the desire to pop an ollie, in which case Bournemouth have you covered with their eight-inch skateboard deck (£60), and to make sure it is definitely eight inches, they’ll sell you a five-metre tape measure (£12) emblazoned with the Cherries’ logo.
A keen writer may also appreciate a pitch texture notebook (£18).
Crystal Palace meanwhile offer an eagle-emblazoned bib (£10) – a perfect gift for messy eaters.
West Ham stock a branded baby beaker (£9) so you can indoctrinate your children into supporting the Hammers from an early age, which you could couple with a 10 pack of West Ham tissues (£1.50) to wipe up any dribbles – or your tears after another loss.
Coming in under the “actually good” category is the Manchester City Smart Watch (currently 50 per cent off at £75). It looks pretty sleek and will be actually appreciated unlike many of the other gifts on this list.
Another option, ideal to decorate a wall, is the Manchester City Street Sign (currently 50 per cent off at £17.50) so the lucky individual can really signpost their support for the club (sorry).
An item falling firmly into the tat category is the Manchester City Projection Torch (£15). The Manchester City shop description reads: “This sleek and portable torch is more than just a light—it’s a beacon of team spirit. With a simple press, watch as the emblem of your beloved club projects vividly onto any surface, turning any room into a shrine for Cityzens.” Yuck.
If you know someone who loves a football shirt, a mystery football shirt box (From £37.99) makes the unwrapping ceremony that little bit more exciting.
Finally, you can gift someone a Nottingham Forest Brachiosaurus plush toy (£20), because why not?
Gifts for the whole family
If there are no intra-family rivalries within your own, or you know a family of supporters, these can be a nice gift to bring people together at Christmas:
Manchester City four in a row (£25)
AFC Bournemouth tumble blocks (£20)
Chelsea mini pool table (£35)
Chelsea mini basketball set (£20)
Brighton Stadium Edition Monopoly (currently on offer at £25)
Brighton dart board (£65)
Football experiences
Many football clubs offer guided tours and experiences within their stadiums ranging from a tour of Anfield and the Liverpool FC museum for £25 to a Manchester United matchday experience for £360, with many other offerings in-between at Virgin experience days.
A flood light coffee table?!
If you really trawled the internet, I’m sure you could create a fully football themed house, but here are my personal highlights.
Sunderland will sell you some curtains (£30), “ensuring your loyalty shines bright even while you sleep” – not big brother at all…
Brentford clearly sympathises with those scared of the dark, offering two lights on different ends of the price spectrum. For £19 you can buy a football night light, but for the other, you might have to look down the back of the sofa for a few more coins, with the Griffin Park flood light, err, light costing an eye watering £2,500. To match that you can have a Griffin Park flood light coffee table, which is an absolute bargain at £2,350.
Finally you can perfume your room with a Sunset by the River diffuser (£30) which contains the essence of Fulham (okay, I made that bit up).
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