Brazil are the World Cup. The Seleção are the tournament’s essence, the elemental force that gives the thing its meaning. Those yellow shirts represent rapture, exuberance, joy, celebration. Goals are not just the mechanism for deciding outcomes but the point of life. So yes, Roy, when the ball hits the back of the net it triggers a well spring of gladness and those boys are forever going to dance.
Perhaps old malcontent Keane should take himself off to Brazil, immerse himself in the favela experience, discover what might be behind the spontaneous bursts of happiness. Clue, it’s not like Bowden, the leafy south Manchester barrio in which he walks the dog every day.
Football in Brazil is a release, an affirmation, a strike against the blows that rain down on the impoverished every day of their lives. There is no welfare safety net for the 12 million inhabitants living under corrugated roofs in makeshift urban shanties, no reprieve from the ceaseless privations endured by as many as 60 million citizens classified as poor. Football is one of the few things Brazil’s disenfranchised can call their own. It allows them to feel good about themselves, to succeed at something.
Not everybody in Brazil likes football. Not everybody in Brazil is poor. But the beautiful game is arguably Brazil’s greatest export, the thing for which the country is most commonly known. The Amazon, Sugar Loaf Mountain, rainforests, Christ the Redeemer, Copacabana Beach, the “Girl from Ipanema”, a particular strain of female grooming, perhaps, but none punch with the same weight as the Seleção.
— ITV Football (@itvfootball) December 5, 2022
"I've never seen so much dancing, it's like watching Strictly!"
Roy Keane on Brazil's dancing#ITVFootball | #FifaWorldCup pic.twitter.com/q9rJiB3xV6
Brazil’s 4-1 rout of South Korea was the highlight of the last 16, not least the goal celebrations. They set off flares, got everybody talking. Coach Tite made himself a relatable figure in one shake of those avuncular hips. Richarlison’s overhead kick in Brazil’s opening match was arguably the goal of the tournament until the mesmeric team effort to which he added the final touch to see off Korea, both unapologetically Brazilian flourishes. We are here precisely for this. Well, apart from Keane it seems. The celebrations offended him, showed disrespect to the opposition, he said.
What kind of joyless, bearded, former Manchester United mood-hoover sees the world that way? What would Keane have preferred? A handshake and forthright return to their restart positions. C’mon lads, the job’s not done yet. Keane watched from the bench when Lee Sharpe celebrated United’s first goal against QPR in an FA Cup match at Old Trafford in 1995 by using the corner flag as an impromptu mic during his Elvis impression. Was that disrespect? Not a peep from Keane if it was.
Pity Keane didn’t pay more attention to in-game behaviours when he was chasing referees about the paddock in protest at this decision or that. Poor Andy D’Urso still wakes up screaming at the memory of Keane haring towards him, full scowl, at the vanguard of a vengeful United pack. Of course, the world being one giant village in this historical epoch, word of Keane’s outrage spread around the Copacabana before the teams were back on the pitch, triggering the inevitable pile-on.
As you might imagine, some of Keane’s less fragrant contributions, the tackle on Alf-Inge Haaland, the contretemps with Ireland manager Mick McCarthy both got prominent mentions. His reputation for “butchery” as they called it, following an Intercontinental Cup match in 1999 against Palmeiras, was also lovingly recalled.
It appears Keane has misread the room. To quote from the great Nolans book of Anglo-Irish verse, everyone else is “in the mood for dancing, romancing, giving it all tonight.” Cue Keane’s unveiling in the next line-up of Strictly.
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