The Score: The case against every player in Man Utd’s miserable starting XI
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Manchester United have reached another pathetic nadir and there is an ocean of guilt in which every miserable actor is floundering. My colleague Pete Hall has rightly directed his own opprobrium high up the club’s food chain as well as at Michael Carrick.
But what of the players? If Carrick is to be replaced, the next guy has to make something with these ingredients. And it’s a rotten recipe…
Senne Lammens
The mistakes have started to creep in, which is absolutely no surprise because that is what happens to every Manchester United signing eventually. Doesn’t help that he’s playing behind a slow, wretched defence.
Leny Yoro
He’s not a right-back and he’s not kicked on enough to be nailed on to start in central defence. Recovery pace gets him out of trouble, but see above: the mistakes have started to creep in too.
Harry Maguire
He cares and he tries hard. He’s also 33 years old, is monstrously slow and still hasn’t been forced out of the team despite being widely derided under at least three different managers.
Ayden Heaven
It’s so hard to be a young defender in this team, but Heaven looks increasingly scared when put under pressure. Serious questions about his ability with the ball at his feet.
Diogo Dalot
He’s a right-back who is not good enough to be Manchester United’s right-back and has consistently proved that fact. And somehow the big learning from that has been: we should make this guy first choice in other positions too.
Andrey Santos
I watched Andrey Santos fail to make his mark on Nottingham Forest’s first team despite them being desperate for midfielders and fighting to stay in the Premier League. And since then Manchester United have paid £50m for him. Is this some sort of sick joke?
Carlos Baleba
OK, he’s quite a good footballer. He also cost £70m, was sold by a club who only ever sell on their terms and was injured for most of his early months at Old Trafford. Which means that the inevitable has simply been delayed and Manchester United will eventually drag him down to their level.
Youri Tielemans
He’s a great passer of the ball when he has time and space. He’s also played 678 career matches at the age of 29 so sorry if I’m not totally convinced by building a midfield around him.
Amad Diallo
Does everyone remember when Amad was the dynamic winger that United were going to build one side of their attack around? It was after they were going to build around Jadon Sancho, Antony, Alexis Sanchez, Angel Di Maria et al.
Mason Mount
Come on now. Nobody is even saying this with a straight face.
Bryan Mbeumo
Yeah he’s not bad, obviously. But at Brentford I knew Mbeumo’s best role, knew what I was going to get from him and knew roughly the return to expect. United saw that and have played Mbeumo as a central striker, as a No 10, on the right and on the left. Cheers.
The best week in Bournemouth’s history?
The brilliant Cherries silenced Old Trafford on Sunday (Photo: Getty)
While the rest of the world understandably prepares its Manchester United takes (no really: see above), we should dwell for more than a moment on a fabulous week for Bournemouth. They have come so far from their grim history that we do not need to go back all that way, but Bournemouth finished 15th in 2023, five points clear of the drop.
Since then they have been a revelation through a trading model that accepts the departure of key players, appointing high-level coaches and creating an environment in which players develop and thrive (the opposite of their Sunday opponents).
And they have never had it so good. In the space of eight days, Marco Rose has overseen a 2-0 home win over Sunderland, a 3-0 home win over AC Milan and a 3-0 away win at Old Trafford. These are the days of their lives and they deserve to enjoy every one.
Arteta has his new personal vendetta
Arteta has been booked twice this season for leaving his technical area (Photo: Reuters)
Mikel Arteta loves a bugbear as much as he loves Arsenal scoring set-piece goals. Whether it’s criticism over the style of play, fixture scheduling, refereeing decisions or any other perceived injustice, Arsenal’s manager generates a series of siege mentality causes and mines them for motivational fuel.
“There are managers who have the record in the league, 36 times in 10 minutes they leave the touchline – no yellows,” was Arteta’s latest missive after being booked on Saturday. “I am clipping all of that so I now have a massive storage of images.”
It doesn’t matter whether he actually has a point about bookings – Daniel Farke got a yellow card at the Emirates and David Moyes was booked on Saturday. It doesn’t matter whether he actually has a vast dossier of images and videos that he will present as evidence of a shadowy cabal working against him and his side. You’re missing the point.
This stuff works because supporters delight in it. Were Xabi Alonso or Roberto De Zerbi spending their post-match interviews doing the same things, of course Arsenal fans would deride it. But this is their club and their manager has harboured their complete loyalty through his achievements last season. And now the gap to Manchester City has evaporated.
Gameweek 8 highlights
Player of the weekend – Matheus Fernandes (Tottenham)
Fernandes is starting to show exactly why Tottenham believed that he was the missing piece to their midfield. The passing range, press resistance and work rate were all instrumental to Spurs winning at Stamford Bridge for the second time since 1990.
Bobb got a little lost at Fulham, no goal or assist and only 571 league minutes in 2025-26. His first league goal contribution in white (well, red and black as they were away at Coventry) was glorious, clever feet and a curling finish the standout moment of a tepid match and a deserved winner to further relieve the pressure on Alvaro Arbeloa.
Statistic of the weekend
Aston Villa are the first team to win three straight Premier League games against Manchester City since Liverpool in December 2016. Unai Emery made life more difficult than most for Pep Guardiola. The same applies to Enzo Maresca.
Villain of the weekend – Cole Palmer (Chelsea)
It takes a special kind of headloss to marginally avoid one red card for charging into a player only to subsequently get sent off for charging into another. Palmer is prone to frustration and is very fortunate to only be missing one Chelsea fixture. Their ill-discipline is back again.
@FulhamFC pic.twitter.com/B97xhFGVGI
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