Jose Mourinho sacked: whatever else the Man Utd manager has done, it’s no fun being fired just before Christmas

The blow of losing his job will be cushioned for Jose Mourinho. A great big cushion, in fact, stuffed with many millions of pound notes. Nevertheless, the rejection, the public humiliation, and the loss of face will hurt him, in the same way as it would hurt any human being. And a week before Christmas, to boot. How heartless, cruel and mean-spirited. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke.

It’s hard to feel a great deal of sympathy for Mourinho, whose haughty, dismissive manner and siege mentality does not win him many friends. But seven days before Christmas? There may be no good time to lose one’s job, but the timing has to be called into question. On the other hand, it gives him the opportunity to enjoy the festive break with his family, and unburdened by the cares of office.

Values

On hearing the news about Mourinho, I couldn’t help but recall a former colleague’s summary dismissal in equally unfortunate circumstances. He was fired from his high-profile job by means of a letter from his boss that arrived on Christmas Eve. The postmark on the letter was “Heathrow Terminal 5”, and on the back of the envelope was the slogan used by his company at the time: “A different set of values.”

More recently, another friend of mine was sacked, by text, while on his honeymoon.

A friend of mine was laid off so many times that he earned the title “The Redundance Kid”

There is probably no right way to fire someone, only wrong ways. I was sacked once over lunch. More accurately, I was sacked before lunch, the killing blow being delivered over pre-prandial drinks. We had then to go through the agony of sharing a meal with nothing to say to each other, and with my having to resist stabbing him with a steak knife. I resolved that, if I ever had to fire someone, it would never be in a restaurant.

Having suffered this crushing indignity, I knew what it felt like when I was the one administering terrible news. I quickly realised that it’s the one situation when it’s permissible to lie. Make up any excuse – cutbacks, reorgansiation, a change of direction, an act of God, anything – to avoid telling someone that they’ve lost their job because they’re just not very good at it. There is a multiplicity of books giving advice for aspiring business leaders, but not one, as far as I can see, which tells you how to sack someone with dignity and sensitivity.

‘We’re letting you go’

Most seasoned newspaper people will have experienced the pain of professional rejection at least once. A friend of mine was laid off so many times that he earned the title “The Redundance Kid”. Another colleague said to me that the only way to make proper money in journalism is to keep getting fired.

It’s a rough old business all right, and most people take the slings and arrows with equanimity. Oh, apart from a veteran former colleague, who, after being “let go” (such an awful euphemism), stormed out of the editor’s office, and shouted back, in full hearing of the newsroom: “I’ve been sacked from better jobs than this, you ****”

I was once sacked before lunch, the killing blow being delivered over pre-prandial drinks

Jose Mourinho may have wanted to say something like that to his bosses at Manchester United, but he didn’t get the chance. A 65-word statement from the club, and he was gone. Spare a thought for him this Christmas. On second thoughts, maybe not…