When you considered the players involved, Newcastle United’s relegation in 2009 was quite some achievement.
The roll call of actors in the tragi-comedy of demotion made for some list: Kevin Nolan, Nicky Butt, Obafemi Martins, Joey Barton, Shay Given, Mark Viduka and Fabricio Coloccini all played significant minutes that season. Top of the bill were – at various points – Michael Owen, Alan Shearer and Kevin Keegan, three of the leading icons of English football in various eras.
But it was a façade, an edifice that crumbled at the first contact with reality. Newcastle were the epitome of the “too good to go down” cliché, believing the hype themselves until it was too late and hungrier teams had taken a bite out of their reputation.
A training ground mockingly referred to as the “squash club” by one player, such was the work ethic of the group, was harbouring a toxic mix of complacency and incompetence.
Viewing Everton’s 2022 vintage this season has sometimes felt similar: the ingredients piled into the mix all too familiar, the failure by those in charge to recognise the catastrophic nature of their predicament a real worry.
At Tottenham on Monday, Everton’s plight played out in technicolour. But the club couldn’t say this hasn’t been in the post. From the controversy of appointing Rafa Benitez to the upheaval off-the-field, they have carried on as if they believe they possess too much talent, spending power and reputation to have to worry about the battle at the bottom.
But make no mistake they are in the thick of a battle now, and one that they do not appear equipped to extricate themselves from.
Frank Lampard’s January business looked like that of a man whose club are readying themselves for a top 10 push: Dele Alli, a gargantuan talent in need of reigniting, and Donny van der Beek, a blue chip midfielder used to competing at the top end of the Premier League. It spoke of a belief that the club can fall back on talent and ability in the relegation battle.
But in the North East and North West, recruitment was done with one eye on scrapping for survival. Chris Wood, Dan Burn and Wout Weghorst might not be eye catching arrivals but they are characters whose entire careers have battles for credibility and kudos. Their DNA is hard-wired for the fight.
How many in Everton’s group could you say that about? Anthony Gordon, the youngest starter at Spurs, was the only one who reached that standard. Too many others crumbled under Tottenham’s pressure – a worrying sign that they are sleepwalking into trouble.
The hope now is that the nature of the humiliation at Tottenham sends a clarion call to those who have been hoodwinked into believing that eventually, the talent in Everton’s squad will prove the difference.
In the recesses of the relegation battle, that simply isn’t true. Burnley’s successive great escapes have owed much to the honesty of a group that Sean Dyche has carefully curated. This may be the season that is not enough, but Dyche will fancy his chances when Everton travel to Turf Moor later this season.
“I didn’t walk into the building with a magic wand,” Lampard said on Monday. But it is not magic that Everton need, it is a dose of cold, hard reality to shock their season back into life.
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