The year is 2050. Newcastle United have just won the Premier League title for a record 10th consecutive season playing a unique style honed over the decades, known as anti-football.
Eddie Howe oversees it from the touchline, prowling the technical area via the support of a cane. Jason Tindall occasionally brings him a plastic cup with a straw from which to sip water.
Howe’s tactics consist of keeping the ball out of play at all costs. When a Newcastle player has the ball, out it goes. When an opponent has the ball: foul first, think later. Goal kicks take up to five minutes. Shoulder barges result in lengthy stoppages for treatment. Substitutions even longer.
This is – obviously – an extreme imagining of where Newcastle’s time-wasting tactics could take the game, but they’re not the only ones and it’s regarded as the direction of travel across the game. So now officials are acting.
Referees are trying to save football. And you might not like it. The lawmakers and law enforcers are getting tough on time-wasters and intimidators in what could well be the most significant shift in football’s spectacle for decades.
Fifa has been spurred on by the popularity of the longer stoppage times at the Qatar World Cup – what’s not to like about later goals, more time for drama, more football?
Well, that may well be the case for viewers without any skin in the game, but after your club has conceded twice in 15 minutes of second-half stoppage time to lose three points the surveys may produce differing results.
Adding on the precise time for stoppages is a more scientific way of ensuring fans see the correct amount of football. But did you ever hear fans complaining they didn’t have 20 minutes of stoppage time?
What are the new rules?
Nonetheless, from the moment a player scores to the moment the game restarts time will be added on. Now, essentially, you must score and return to your half with as little fuss as possible (feels a little killjoy). Time for substitutions will be totted up exactly.
Under the new directives, yellow cards will be applied more liberally for goalkeepers delaying goal kicks and for balls flicked away before throw-ins or free kicks can be taken. Players who suddenly drop to the floor “injured” in the last 10 minutes of games, to wind down the clock, will be ushered off the pitch and told to stay there for “treatment”, so they will now actually leave their team at a disadvantage.
Managers who step out of their technical areas will be penalised. Mikel Arteta take note. And managers and players aggressively pursuing officials will be dealt with more harshly, in a welcome move.
Pep expects to earn his first red card
By Ian Whittell
Pep Guardiola believes he is odds-on favourite to land one of the few “titles” he has yet to record in English football – a red card.
New referees’ guidelines will clamp down on abusive touchline behaviour in the Premier League this season and the passionate Manchester City boss admits he is sometimes ashamed by his own antics.
“This is the only title I don’t have here. The only one,” joked Guardiola. “I understand that sometimes we behave really badly with the fourth officials and referees. When we review that we feel ashamed.
“The other side is, we have to control but the emotions are there.Hopefully in the end we can find a balance. ”
Why are these changes being brought in?
The aim is to improve the overall image of the game, to remove some of the more vulgar elements, to stop the behaviour filtering down to children, coaches and touchline parents at grass roots level, where potential future referees are being scared away from possibly having an agenda against your Premier League club 15 years later.
Ultimately, it’s to ensure people who go to watch football – an increasingly unaffordable pastime – get to actually see some football.
According to data analysed by PGMOL, the body in charge of professional referees in England, playing time has decreased year-on-year. Some League Two fans were being short-changed almost an entire half of football.
i revealed the season before that a Newcastle game against Aston Villa had only 43 minutes and six seconds of ball-in-play time, and another v Everton had 45min 16sec.
The new rules, to stop this behaviour, have come from the top – from rule-makers Ifab. It is not a plan concocted by English football’s officials. And, as such, they are expected to be applied around the world.
“It is here to stay,” PGMOL chief refereeing officer Howard Webb said. Webb believes it could be a bit of a shock initially but will settle down.
He has had to tour the country telling everyone how it will work. So if your manager complains they didn’t know about any of the rules after a game, they probably weren’t listening.
PGMOL is confident it will eventually level out to add three minutes on to Premier League games. Although the complaints are rarely based on averages.
We could be in for a bumpy ride, but it might just work.
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