Premier League: Man Utd’s nadir, Tuchel and Conte’s handshake soap opera, a Forest fire and Haaland goes MIA

The Score is Daniel Storey’s weekly verdict on all 20 Premier League teams’ performances. Sign up here to receive the newsletter every Monday morning

Did this Premier League season come alive when Manchester United conceded four first-half goals and we all rushed to imagine just how bad this could get?

Or was it when Antonio Conte and Thomas Tuchel engaged in the most memorable handshake since Ulysses S. Grant and Robert E. Lee ended the American Civil War? This was a weekend for the ages.

Elsewhere, Nottingham Forest got their first Premier League win in 23 years, Leeds ceded a two-goal lead to Southampton and Gabriel Jesus became the new darling of Islington.

Only two teams have 100 per cent records. Three have lost both of their opening two matches and none of them are promoted clubs.

This weekend’s results

Saturday

Sunday

Arsenal

As against Crystal Palace on the opening night, this wasn’t perfect. At Selhurst Park, Arsenal ceded control in the second half but were not punished. Against Leicester, they were punished for their sloppiness but were able to atone for that by the many moments of danger they created that were far too good for a shaky Leicester defence.

And that is the difference that Gabriel Jesus has made. Arsenal’s aim – and we saw the best of it on Saturday – was to use Jesus as a multi-functional striker, one that was capable of scoring excellent goals (as he did), create chances for others (as he did) and busy central defenders to allow the crop of attacking midfielders more space in which to operate (as he did).

It’s not difficult to see how Saturday could have been very different last season. Arsenal create chances that they squander in the first half, perhaps taking a one-goal lead into the break. Leicester hit back when Arsenal get sloppy and then the crowd get a little restless. Leicester peg Arsenal back again, the game ends 2-2 and everyone bemoans the fact that Alexandre Lacazette didn’t make the difference.

This is only the start for Jesus – he cannot prove himself in one home league game. But on Saturday he scored two goals and assisted two others. That accounts for 14 per cent of the league goals and assists he contributed for Manchester City over each of the last two league seasons combined. There are signs that this may work out very nicely indeed.

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Aston Villa

Readers of this column towards the end of last season will know that it regularly pleaded for Steven Gerrard to start Emi Buendia over Philippe Coutinho. It wasn’t that Coutinho is a bad player (quite the opposite) or wasn’t a decent loan signing. But with him on the pitch, Villa became too dependent upon Coutinho. When he found space and time and had fun, Gerrard’s team looked good. When he didn’t – which happened too often – they looked worryingly blunt.

Against Everton on Saturday, we saw this argument laid bare. Coutinho lasted an hour, having again been picked over Buendia to start. In that time, the Brazilian had no shots, created no chances and was booked. At his best, Coutinho seems to be half a second ahead of every other player on the pitch. Here, he looked half a second behind.

The game changed after Buendia’s introduction. In a cameo that lasted half as long as Coutinho’s, Buendia created three chances, more than any other player on the pitch did in the full 90 minutes. He had two shots on target (no player on the pitch had more). He scored Villa’s second goal. But he also buzzed around the final third in exactly the same manner that we expected of Coutinho.

The point is this: Aston Villa have repeatedly looked more dangerous with Buendia on the pitch than without him. If that means leaving Coutinho on the bench, so be it. This has to be a meritocracy and, right now, there is no argument for not starting Buendia.

Bournemouth

It says plenty about the quality gap in the Premier League that had you canvassed the opinions of Bournemouth supporters as they entered the Etihad, plenty of them would have been relatively relieved to only lose the upcoming match 4-0.

Bournemouth were probably fortunate that City took their foot off the pedal at 3-0. They doubled up on Erling Haaland and in doing so managed to stop him scoring; that really does feel like an achievement. But that only allowed more space for the advancing midfielders and three of those scored. Stopping City this season may well feel like a mean trick: you rush to cover up one hole with both hands and three more appear. They are the splat-the-rat Premier League attack.

All you can do is move on, thank the heavens that it wasn’t worse and remind yourselves that not every team will give you so, so many different things to think about.

Brentford

Whenever a supposed (and the caveat is necessary here) big club is humbled, the focus immediately shifts to what they did wrong. That is entirely natural: those teams draw more media attention and they have the resources to be better. Supporters joke about the “teams like Brentford” cliche, used as a stick to beat those underperforming clubs with, but it holds true. The financial divides in the Premier League make this a story.

But Brentford, and Brighton before them, are proof that, despite all the economic and historic disadvantages, and despite how steep the slope of inequality may be, meritocracy finds a way. It may bar the Brentfords and Brightons of this world from winning the league title, but it does not stop them causing deep embarrassment and enjoying the best days of their own lives.

Brentford are everything Manchester United are not. Their owner has ploughed his own money into the club and appointed directors who can be trusted to make savvy decisions and pursue a long-term strategy. Those directors have delegated responsibility to excellent coaches and off-field staff through smart recruitment. Those members of staff work tirelessly to create a culture in which players thrive and pick their transfer targets according to a recruitment strategy that underpins everything. On the pitch, there is a coherent system under a long-term manager who is provided with the tools and then trusted to use them.

It will not always work. It will occasionally come unstuck. No team outside the financial elite is safe from relegation or insured against two or three successive poor decisions. That is where wealth offers privilege. But on occasion, David prepares impeccably for the fight and faces a Goliath that has barely bothered to train and there is only ever likely to be one winner. This is only a shock if you haven’t been paying attention, or if you allow yourself to be blinded by historic significance and ignore all recent evidence. Long may it continue for in this, really, lies the magic of sport.

Brighton

Were it not for Nick Pope, Brighton would be enjoying a perfect start to the season. For all the hoopla surrounding their fully deserved win at Old Trafford on the opening weekend, Saturday was a far better judge of the work Graham Potter has done. If we can safely predict that Brighton and Newcastle will be roughly competing for the same positions this season, there was no contest at the weekend other than on the scoreline.

Brighton were brilliant. In midfield, Alexis Mac Allister and Moises Caicedo won 11 tackles between them. In defence, Lewis Dunk and Joel Veltman made 12 combined clearances and allowed Newcastle to have four shots in 90 minutes. Eight of their 10 starting outfield players had shots; six different players created chances. The argument about signing a high-class striker will rumble on given that they failed to score and Deniz Undav remained on the bench, but you can’t have everything. Brighton made a confident, settled Newcastle team look very ordinary.

And just a reminder, given what will follow in a later section about a big club buying player after player without a coherent system to play them in and without a positive working environment to let them flourish in: the Brighton starting XI that faced Newcastle on Saturday cost £10m less to buy than they received for Marc Cucurella earlier this month. Breathtaking work.

Chelsea

There will be plenty of time in the coming weeks to analyse Chelsea’s new start under Thomas Tuchel in the Todd Boehly era, particularly after we see which players they look to recruit over the next fortnight.

So instead, can we have a moment to celebrate one of the most gloriously niggly and snide Premier League matches in recent memory? You can focus only on the extended handshake/grab/wrestle if you like, and my goodness it was a sensational bit of television. But the sheer levels of needle between Tottenham and Chelsea are something to behold. It even turned Kai Havertz into a streetfighter.

August in the Premier League, particularly after a slightly shorter break, can often pass by in a blur as teams look to get a proper hold on what makes them tick and managers work out their best shapes and starting XIs. To have a fixture this intense, and this spiteful, so early in the season, was like manna from heaven. If there is to be a genuine tussle between Arsenal, Chelsea and Spurs for the top four, it will be made several times more exciting by the knowledge that none of them can stand each other and their managers roughly feel exactly the same way.

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Crystal Palace

Palace have lost their last 10 matches against Liverpool by an aggregate scoreline of 30-6; over their last five meetings they have conceded goals at a rate of one every 24 minutes. Palace are likely to be a mid-table team this season and yet the best advice may well be: good luck, hope they have another off day.

But that seems unlikely. After the scare at Craven Cottage, Jurgen Klopp will be doubly motivated to evaporate any suggestion that his Liverpool team are undercooked as the season begins. This is their first competitive game at Anfield since losing the Champions League final and they will seek to make Anfield believe again by blowing away a domestic opponent.

One thing Patrick Vieira might do is alter the personnel in central midfield. Against Arsenal, Palace set up in a 4-2-3-1 formation with Jeffrey Schlupp and Cheick Doucoure in central midfield and they were a little overrun in the first 30 minutes. That shape also had Odsonne Edouard as the central striker, substituted for Jean-Philippe Mateta having had little impact.

An alternative might be to add an extra body in midfield (Will Hughes would probably make the most sense, although Luka Milivojevic is another option), play Jordan Ayew as the most advanced forward and shift Eberechi Eze to the right wing with Wilfried Zaha on the left. That would give Palace a little more steel in midfield, allow the front three to play on the counter and give Doucoure more licence to drive forward without being worried about getting caught out of position.

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Everton

“Without a genuine focal point, the three players up there have to be really active and mobile and be strong when you’re receiving balls to feet,” said Frank Lampard after Everton’s 2-1 defeat to Aston Villa. “It’s been put on us a little bit, but in the second half we were much better and you saw the threat straightaway. When you don’t have that focal point it can make you less of a threat and we are looking at that.”

Lampard’s right. Everton have actually been able to create several decent chances against Chelsea and Villa, and have had 23 shots across those two games. But their only goal was scored by an opposition player and there is clearly an issue with a missing centre forward. Salomon Rondon is back from suspension now and did offer something following his introduction, but he isn’t prolific.

What isn’t quite clear is why Everton loaned out Ellis Simms with weeks of the transfer window remaining when they only had one striker available at the start of the season and he had a patchy injury record last season. Simms may not be ready for regular Premier League football yet (although he has scored three goals in as many Championship matches) but with Lampard so frustrated by the lack of focal point up front, somebody would surely be better than nobody.

Fulham

The positive spin is that Fulham have matched an established Premier League team in each of their two opening games. In both games they have ceded high-quality chances, but they have also recorded an expected goals total of 2.6 against two of the meanest defences in the top flight last season. That is proof enough that the attacking verve will not entirely dissipate after promotion.

That said, every manager of promoted teams that survive relegation will tell you that the golden rule is to make the most of the chances that come your way. There will be halves, games and entire months when everything becomes a slog, chasing the tails of those who play for richer and bigger clubs. You must make hay on the days when the sun shines.

Aleksandar Mitrovic was brilliant against Liverpool; he earned Fulham their point. But he also cost them two against Wolves with that late penalty miss. Fulham now play five league games without leaving London during which they must not be so generous.

Leeds United

There are good ways and bad ways to pick up a point away from home, and ceding a two-goal lead away at a team who are reportedly unsure about the suitability of their manager is certainly a bad way.

Jesse Marsch must also face accusations that he was punished for his passivity in changing the game with substitutions. Ralph Hasenhuttl made a double change after an hour, bringing on Joe Aribo and Adam Armstrong and giving Leeds’ defenders far more to think about. It took until the 84th minute – after Southampton’s equaliser – for Marsch to make his first tactical change.

Of greater importance may be Leeds’ first-half substitution, enforced after Patrick Bamford sustained another muscle injury. Marsch was keen to stress that the change was precautionary because Bamford was not 100 per cent – “he might have played on in a cup final” – but it is still concerning that in the second league game of the season he is already struggling to complete consecutive matches.

The form of Rodrigo, top scorer in this nascent Premier League season, is an excellent boon for Marsch. Rodrigo has already achieved half of his league goals total from the whole of last season. But after missing out on Charles de Ketelaere to Milan, Leeds desperately need another forward. Daniel James cannot be the next striker off the rank.

Leicester City

The suspicion that Leicester might be a little flat, given the rumours linking players away from the club and the lack of rumours linking them into it, seems watertight. Scoring four goals in two games would be cause for some celebration if it wasn’t for the continued presence of the same old problems: set-piece defending, passive defending, defensive concentration and defending (general).

This is particularly concerning given Wesley Fofana’s slow walk to the away end after full-time at the Emirates. Given the suggestions that a fee has been agreed with Chelsea and his own enthusiasm for the move, we can interpret that as a farewell gesture.

But Leicester cannot afford to lose another centre-back. In their two league games, Brendan Rodgers has started Daniel Amartey, Jonny Evans and Fofana. One is leaving, another has not managed to stay fit over the last two seasons and the other was probably fifth choice in the position this time last season.

And it hasn’t gone well, even with Fofana. Leicester have faced 27 shots in their two matches, 20 of which were from inside the penalty area, and Danny Ward has allowed six of the 10 shots on target he has faced to go in. If you defend from dead-ball situations as badly as Leicester have over the last 18 months, you cannot afford to be so generous in open play. Southampton at the King Power next weekend already feels significant.

Liverpool

Yes this is ridiculous, but then so is the pace that Manchester City and Liverpool have set over the last few seasons. Liverpool really do need to win on Monday evening. Fail to do so, and there will already be whispers about City having the league sewn up by the end of September.

Two things will be interesting about Jurgen Klopp’s team selection. The first is whether he chooses to start Darwin Nunez after he changed the game at Fulham following his introduction. That is surely a no-brainer given Roberto Firmino’s toils and the need for a fast start. Klopp may believe that Nunez needs to be eased into the Premier League. You suspect his striker disagrees.

The second question is who replaces Thiago Alcantara in midfield. There are three obvious options: James Milner, Mr Dependable who could play on the right of the three and drop back to cover the counter attack when Trent Alexander-Arnold has pushed on; Naby Keita, fit again after illness but an odd footballer who seems to produce either an 8/10 or 4/10 and very little in between; Harvey Elliott, the most attacking choice but a player who is capable of driving forward and may be suited to a match in which Liverpool will have a lion’s share of possession.

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Manchester City

Is it a problem if your new superstar striker doesn’t touch the ball much? Not necessarily. On Saturday, Manchester City had 67 per cent possession and Erling Haaland touched the ball eight times and attempted two passes. That is absolutely extraordinary.

But it sort of worked. With Haaland’s reputation demanding that at least two of Bournemouth’s three central defenders were on duty to stay close and monitor his movement, it left a huge amount of space for Manchester City’s midfielders to make advanced runs.

See each of the biggest moments of the first half, when City killed off the game. For the first goal, Haaland plays a pass to Ilkay Gundogan with three Bournemouth players around him. For the second, it is Haaland’s run that takes opponents away from Kevin de Bruyne and affords him the time to curl his shot past Mark Travers. For the third goal, Phil Foden is allowed to ghost beyond players who are holding the defensive line on Haaland.

Haaland will clearly want to score in every game he plays. But this is proof that his sheer presence alone can unlock doors for this City attack. Which, to repeat the points from last week, is worrying for every other team that wants to keep pace with them.

Manchester United

The Manchester United blame drip:

– It starts with the Glazers; we know enough by now that anyone who doesn’t point their finger first in the direction of the owners is missing the point. Their takeover was a grim moment for English football, an ownership model built on the exact premise of taking money out of the club. Manchester United have spent an awful lot of money, this much we know. But their owners have taken out far more than they have put in.

The Glazers have also allowed a toxic atmosphere to build amongst supporters by sucking the goodwill out of the club through their vampiric methods of financing. They have also appointed directors who proved that they were unworthy of their positions, and slept on all warnings about the gradual decline of the institution.

– It continues with those directors, because they hold the long-term strategy (or lack of one) in their hands. The names seem to change, and Ed Woodward has now gone, but why is there nobody who seems to have any football sense making decisions?

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This week was the perfect case in point. After the defeat to Brighton (OK, long before that defeat, but you get the point) it was clear that the pursuit of Frenkie de Jong was going to be so complicated that they needed other options. You could easily argue that De Jong isn’t quite the profile they need either, but we only have so many words.

So they decided upon a new name and that name was Adrien Rabiot. Rabiot is many things, not all of them complimentary given his form over the last 18 months, but he is categorically not an elite holding midfielder. He’s not good enough going forward to replace Bruno Fernandes and he’s not good enough defensively to replace Scott McTominay or Fred (don’t laugh, it’s the truth).

Not only that, they have somehow even made this deal drag on despite Juventus being incredibly happy to sell at the price United have reportedly offered and Rabiot himself presumably keen on the move. John Murtough went to Turin and somehow came away without a deal being done. And don’t think we’ve forgotten about the whole Marko Arnautovic thing, just because you decided against it.

Those directors can shift the tone. Manchester United have spent an extraordinary amount of money to get worse. Had that money been spent as part of an efficient, sensible long-term strategy that provided the manager with the tools, the Glazers would still be due effusive criticism but it would be easier to ignore their wrongs. Instead they have repeatedly ignored managers who have spoken out against the problems within the club and the inefficiency of the recruitment processes.

– But Erik ten Hag does not escape blame. If he has been left high and dry by the farcically incompetent transfer window to date, coaches make their reputations when making the best of unideal situations and that sometimes means compromising on your principles.

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Ten Hag might prove me wrong (we are two matches into the season) but nobody sees David de Gea as a goalkeeper capable of playing the short passing style that the manager clearly favours. It was embarrassing to watch their attempts against Brentford. Lisandro Martinez might not be the most expensive of the central defenders that United have spent a quarter of a billion pounds on, but he might be the quickest to get written off. There’s also Christian Eriksen playing as a false nine and then a weird hybrid holding midfielder role but again: only so many words.

– And finally, there are the players. Individual mistakes happen – although they shouldn’t happen this often. But the complete lack of any bite and fight is deeply embarrassing. Cristiano Ronaldo is the poster boy; three weeks ago we were hearing glowing reports about the discipline Ten Hag had instilled and now we have reports that the club may have to terminate his contract due to indiscipline.

The tweets from social media executives tasked to run their accounts will come. They will talk of being better, doing better, wanting better. But actions speak louder than words you didn’t even type. At least offer some evidence that you are all in this together.

Newcastle

Nick Pope.

No really, that’s it. After a weird week during which Newcastle’s goalkeeper trended nationally on Twitter for basically no reasons other than boredom and corporate banter, he was Newcastle’s best player in saving them a point against Brighton. Eddie Howe’s decision to move Martin Dubravka aside appears to be a sensible one.

Nottingham Forest

Before kick-off at the City Ground on Sunday, a three-minute video was played on the big screens. It has been updated for the new season, including footage from the Wembley celebrations in May and Steve Cooper marching around the turf as his adoring public serenades him in song. The final words in the video are, unsurprisingly, given to Brian Clough: “I hope nobody is stupid enough to write us off”.

After the disappointment of Newcastle last week, this was far better from Forest against a team that finished in the top seven last season and do not have the same problems about bedding in most of a new squad. They were the better team in the first half and then defended heroically in the final 30 minutes. If their transfer policy has indeed led them to be written off or derided in some quarters, here was evidence that it can work.

There’s no doubt that Forest were fortunate to win. Said Benrahma’s goal being disallowed was probably a 50:50 call and Dean Henderson’s magnificent penalty save has already made him a cult hero at the City Ground. Multiple players made goalline clearances and the grounds staff who painted the goal frames did well to add an extra layer of white. Twice the ball bounced down onto the line and came out.

But then promoted teams need luck, particularly ones who are still learning the names of their teammates. Harry Toffolo marshalled Jarrod Bowen brilliantly, given his struggles against Newcastle last weekend. Taiwo Awoniyi looks like he could be a significant problem for central defenders with his physical presence, aerial threat and hold-up play. If the accusation against Jesse Lingard was that he had come to Forest as the easy option, he ran his socks off without the ball in midfield.

But the star turns were further back in midfield. Lewis O’Brien was magnificent, winning possession 12 times and repeatedly sprinting back to close down opposition players. So too was Onel Mangala, particularly given that he has had very few training sessions. Steve Cooper was at pains to point out that there are several players in his first team that are still not at full fitness. He’s also adamant that Forest are not making a mistake by being so active in the transfer market.

That may well be the question that defines their season, but there were promising signs. A team with eight summer signings has no right to look as fluent, to communicate as well or cover for each other as efficiently as they were able to do against West Ham. That is a credit to Cooper, not that he needs any more.

Can Forest afford to allow so many chances and win again – maybe not. But this team is only going to look more coherent as Cooper has more time with them on the training ground, and the strength in depth they are buying will facilitate the high-intensity work without the ball that he demands. That is the flip-side to the understandable narrative about “doing a Fulham”.

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Southampton

This week brought reports that a number of Southampton players were confused why Ralph Hasenhuttl was allowed to change all of his coaching staff this summer and yet he was not sacked. They came laced with insinuations that those players were doubting Hasenhuttl’s methods.

That may all be true (and Southampton are not in the greatest shape) but those players clearly fought for their result – and, indirectly, their manager – on Saturday. Had they lost at home to Leeds, with league fixtures against Leicester (a), Manchester United (h) and Chelsea (h) to come, there would surely be a chance that Southampton may get stuck at the bottom of the table.

Now they must take the fragments of momentum from this comeback into their next two matches, both against teams who may be feeling a little fragile after their own starts to the season. Funny how the fixture list can take on a different connotation after a couple of goals.

Also, Hasenhuttl must surely start Joe Aribo next week. In 30 minutes against Leeds, he provided more directness with the ball at his feet than some Southampton players did in the second half of last season.

Tottenham

For 95 minutes, we had seen the two worst extremes of Tottenham under Conte. During the first half, they were completely outplayed by Chelsea who possessed the ball and the control. Tottenham were flat but also lacked all creativity. With Harry Kane staying high up the pitch, the central midfield combination better at athleticism rather than aesthetics and the wing-backs pinned back because Cucurella and Reece James were pushing on so much, the front three were isolated.

After their first equaliser, Tottenham almost lost the game for a second time. Conte spent so long trying to whip his team up into a storm, helped by his manic celebrations and touchline spat following Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg’s goal, they immediately became very ragged. It was as if Spurs were following their manager’s lead and playing on pure adrenalin. Chelsea’s composure picked apart Tottenham’s senselessness and Reece James found himself in 10 yards of space.

But Tottenham did come back. There is something unerring about Kane’s ability to make you look foolish. After we spent those 95 minutes wondering why he just wasn’t quite at it, including a poor spurned chance when through on goal, he somehow found space from a corner where there should be none and sent the away end – and Conte – into joyful meltdown.

That made a rotten day a brilliant one. Tottenham played badly and did not lose. Tottenham played Chelsea at Stamford Bridge and did not lose – that is unusual too. They will need to work on the issues of the first half and Conte may well wish to sign a more attacking central midfielder to help it happen. But for now, all is still well.

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West Ham

West Ham need a new midfielder. We can discuss the misfortune, as the ball twice struck woodwork and somehow stayed out. We can touch upon the golden chance spurned, when Declan Rice saw his penalty saved. We can dwell upon the controversy – the disallowed goal could easily have stood and Scott McKenna was lucky that Henderson was right behind him and so saved him a straight red card.

But the reality is that, in their second league game of the season, West Ham looked leggy. They were set a challenge in the last 25 minutes, with Forest inevitably dropping towards their own goal more than Cooper would like thanks to tired legs and the injury to Moussa Niakhate. They needed to keep their heads, stretch the game and get Bowen and Benrahma to pull central defenders out of position.

And they failed to do all of that. Far too often, the out ball was a long diagonal, usually overhit and provoking loud jeers from Forest’s supporters and grumbles from the away end. When the two wingers did get the ball, they were able to cross but those too were often overhit or placed into the grateful hands of Henderson.

You can see why David Moyes wanted to sign Amadou Onana. Tomas Soucek had a magnificent first season, but Rice is good enough to hold the fort in midfield against a team that is sacrificing possession. In these circumstances, you don’t need Soucek as his partner but a creative, forward-thinking central midfielder who wants to drive forward.

It left Gianluca Scamacca shorn of service and frustrated throughout the 20 minutes (plus eight more in added time) he played. Scamacca had seven touches and completed two passes. There was a moment when he chested the ball down in the penalty for an onrushing player and…there was no teammate.

Given the likelihood of another long European season in the Europa Conference League, this squad needs more bodies and Moyes deserves better. If you run out of gas and out of ideas in your second game against a newly promoted club, it suggests that a new spark is needed. Moyes will presumably spend the next fortnight persuading his seniors on that point.

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Wolves

For the second time in two games, Wolves have created the better chances, squandered them and then left their ability to take even a point open to fate and their goalkeeper Jose Sa. Against Leeds last weekend, they paid for their profligacy; against Fulham Sa saved them. But one point from two games against supposed bottom-half teams is not a pleasant return.

Bruno Lage’s team will surely improve. They have Raul Jimenez to return up front, Joao Moutinho to return in midfield, Goncalo Guedes to bed in and Nelson Semedo will be the first-choice right back when he is fully fit. Even without these players, Wolves have created chances but been guilty of missing them.

But even then, are we allowed to worry a little about the depth in Wolves’ squad, given their options on the bench for their first two matches and given how they performed towards the end of last season? Put it this way: a team that took 12 points from its final 14 league games of the season have effectively traded their captain for an excellent technical winger. Is that enough to solve the problems of the spring or change the mood enough to make them a distant memory?



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