Kalidou Koulibaly will provide Chelsea with the poise and command sadly lacking within Tuchel and Conte

STAMFORD BRIDGE — Antonio Conte versus Thomas Tuchel coming to an Octagon near you.

Paddy “the Baddy” Pimblett you are stood down, lad. Connor McGregor? Not notorious enough.

We are only two fixtures in and already the Premier League has gone full UFC. Welcome to the Battle of the Bridge.

Well, relatively speaking. There is always an element of mimed violence in the football theatre, or handbags as it is sometimes known.

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The clash between Chelsea and Tottenham managers after Sunday’s 2-2 draw was not the thuggery of a Keane or a Souness, but gesture blows between alphas.

So a terrific contest full of thunder was overshadowed by the behaviour of coaches who earned themselves a red card apiece, for a post-match handshake that developed into a quasi tug-of-war for dugout supremacy.

It was a moment prefigured by Conte’s overreach following Spurs’ first equaliser. Conte strayed aggressively into Tuchel’s personal space, teeth bared. It was a hot day. Tuchel’s fuse is shorter than Gary Neville’s on a day out in Brentford. The touchline exploded in a swarm of heated exchanges, threats made without blows landing.

Tuchel’s outrage was fuelled as much by the gift of a goal to Spurs out of nothing as the decorum of Conte in a triumphalist daze.

His sense of loss was doubtless doubled by Harry Kane’s header in added time, which gave Spurs a point they barely deserved.

When Conte extended his hand at the final whistle Tuchel would not let go. The pair spun like dance partners on Strictly, coming nose-to-nose in a fabulous tango. You dancin’? You askin’?

Before Conte riled him it was his players that had Tuchel in a touchline lather, anger and frustration never far from the surface, and over the smallest details.

TUCHEL VS CONTE: ROUND TWO!!! pic.twitter.com/XhWuOU4fwD

— Sky Sports Premier League (@SkySportsPL) August 14, 2022

And then up stepped Kalidou Koulibaly to give the Tuchel volcano a positive lava flow. And to think Koulibaly phoned John Terry to ask permission to take his No 26 shirt.

Terry might consider returning the etiquette and ask if he can continue to call his own the “Captain, Leader, Legend” slogan that decorates the grandstands at Stamford Bridge. If nothing else the performance of the Senegalese stopper on his home debut ought to cancel Terry’s photo-bombing career. There is no muscling in on this bloke’s parade.

Koulibaly’s formidable reputation is built on his defensive attributes, a one-man redoubt affectionately known as The Wall or K2. Just as important as his stabilising qualities is the intensity he brings to his work.

Thus as well as displaying the solidity of a Himalayan rock formation you fancy he could bend metal if he stared at it long enough. It was this characteristic that separated the teams during a tight opening half, Koulibaly thrashing the opener into the back of the net with the ferocity of a man who had not eaten for a week stumbling across a chicken leg.

Tuchel and Conte clashed on the touchline at full time (Photo: AFP)

Raheem Sterling and Marc Cucurella also made their home debuts. Both were circumspect, safe, letting none down. Koulibaly stuck his chest out and threw himself into the fight.

If you are a Chelsea fan and you haven’t got Koulibaly on your back at Elland Road next week, questions must be asked. The loss of Antonio Rudiger to Real Madrid reflected the uncertainty engulfing Stamford Bridge in those early days following the purge of Roman Abramovich.

Koulibaly’s signing restated the club’s ambition, a prize fighter with a mercenary’s appetite for acquisition.

He might be seen as Todd Boehly’s fixer on the pitch, a man to get a job done. The new owner’s gratitude was obvious as he celebrated Koulibaly’s coronation as the new hero of Stamford Bridge.

Terry had a decent left foot and an excellent appreciation of the game. To suggest there might be another capable of taking his mantle is a heresy that no longer has currency.

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