‘No matter what you do, you cannot hide’: Bibiana Steinhaus on refereeing, sexist footballers and learning to be herself

It is not easy blazing a trail. And, as Bibiana Steinhaus can vouch, the last step, irrespective of the obstacles already overcome, can be just as daunting as the first.

Her recollection of the day she became the first woman to referee a German Bundesliga match, the Hertha Berlin v Werder Bremen fixture on 10 September 2017, provides a telling illustration. Despite her ten years in the second tier of the Bundesliga, despite the experience of having refereed Women’s World Cup and Champions League finals, as she sat in the dressing room in Berlin’s Olympic Stadium, she felt a sudden pain in her calf – it was the grip of fear.

Relating that moment to i, she remembers the help received from a physio: “He said, ‘Lie down and breathe’. I was lying there breathing and thought, ‘It’s my calf, do something’ but he was saying, ‘Breathe in, breathe out, just let everything go’. After that I was so focused and so calm.

“I’d totally underestimated the international interest. It’s hard to escape when you’re checking into the hotel and the photographers are in the lobby taking pictures of you checking in. How can you escape from that? Getting mentally prepared for that was the key point.”

England lags behind

Steinhaus, the partner of former Premier League and World Cup referee Howard Webb, does not look the sort given to self-doubt. A police chief inspector, who still works part-time, she stands tall and meets your eye with a clear gaze. And she embraces her role as a standard-bearer. “I’m not really a fan of this ‘women’s’ and ‘men’s’ – it comes down to performance,” she stresses.

She has “no doubt” that, granted time and opportunity, a woman could follow her example in this country. To date, no women have risen higher than Wendy Toms and Sian Massey-Ellis, who have run the line in Premier League fixtures. The latter remains an employee of the referees’ body, the PGMOL (Professional Game Match Officials Ltd), and is on its Select Group A assistant referee list.

When it comes to actually taking centre stage, though, the closest the English game has come to Steinhaus is Amy Fearn, the only woman to have refereed a game in the FA Cup first round proper, and Rebecca Welch, who officiates matches in the National League. In short, quite a distance behind.

Steinhaus reflects: “If you have the people able to do the job, and if you have people willing and able to support diversity in our game, being aware of them and giving them opportunities, they’ll be successful.”

‘Players want to be treated fairly’

She has experienced moments of controversy – such as when Fortuna Düsseldorf midfielder Kerem Demirbay told her “women don’t belong in the men’s game” after she sent him off – yet overall, has found male players accepting. “The players want to be treated in a fair manner,” she says. “They want to be respected, they want to speak to you, they want to communicate, and if you do that in a normal way, in a decent way, they accept.”

That said, she summons a detail which underlines the pressure faced on her long climb. Though she was in her teens when she began running the line for her referee father, Horst-Dieter, in matches in their home region of Lower Saxony, it was not until she was well established in the 2. Bundesliga that she stopped cutting her hair short for fear of standing out.

It is another lesson for those wishing to follow her trail. “You must recognise that, no matter what you do, you cannot hide,” she says. “Your skin colour, your whatever, stands out. The moment you recognise it and are fine with it, this is the moment where it really lifts you up to the next level.

“I was refereeing in the second Bundesliga and at some point I thought, ‘You know what – love me, hate me, you do whatever’.”