TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR STADIUM — Pity the doctor who had to do a concussion test on Michael Keane just before half-time. After taking a heavy blow to the face, the Everton defender looked like he did not quite know where he was. The problem for the medic was it was clearly a preexisting condition.
First, Keane had turned Ryan Sessegnon’s cross into his own net to give Tottenham the lead. Then he failed to keep tabs on Dejan Kulusevski as the Swede set up Heung-min Son for the second, and finally was comprehensively outsprinted by Harry Kane for the third.
By the time Mason Holgate had smashed the ball into his own team-mate’s face, it could have been an act of mercy and Keane did quite sensibly not return for the second half.
His replacement Jarrad Branthwaite did little to stem the flow, Sergio Reguilon scoring with his first touch almost as soon as the second half started before Kane added another with a fine volley, but it was largely irrelevant. Everton have one away win all season. A single goal would probably have been enough, and the 5-0 result felt like an indulgence.
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Everton made just one change from their last Premier League outing, Dominic Calvert-Lewin starting up front in an effort to give their attack a much-needed focal point, although you could argue the only change they really wanted was the man in the middle: they felt referee Chis Kavanagh had cost them against Manchester City but they could hardly blame Stuart Atwell, Monday’s man in black, for going 2-0 down inside 18 minutes. Mistakes on this occasion were made by men wearing blue – Keane for the first – and orange, as Jordan Pickford’s case failed to stop Son’s straightforward if powerful shot for the second.
A pre-concussion Keane was left for dead by a Kane for the third and after he went off, Everton’s day was rather summed up in the first minute after half-time. A fairly mundane cross was swung at by two Everton defenders, both of whom fell over, and Reguilon unmarked at the back post to score with his first touch.
Lampard: ‘Not giving up should be the bare minimum’
“It’s individual moments of bad mistakes, bad defending. You don’t tell people to leave their area and go back into midfield and leave spaces to run into.
“We have to think [about] the bigger picture. There are are 13 games to go for us, seven of those are at home and teams around us are having difficulties. And that’s where we’re at.
“There’s nothing positive about tonight really other than probably Anthony Gordon and a couple of performances of credit in terms of people that didn’t give up.
“That should be the bare minimum. And I’ll demand that and it gives me a lot of food for thought going forward.”
It should be noted that some of Tottenham’s play was almost worthy of the Champions League to which they long to return. Son and Kane have now combined for more goals than Toffees manager Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba, while the England captain also overtook Thierry Henry in the all-time Premier League goals tally with a left-footed volley that was worthy of the Frenchman’s own talents.
It had been made possible by a sumptuous pass from Matt Doherty, who had also set up Kane’s first, equalling Kulusevski’s number of assists. Both men were afforded plenty of space into which they could bypass Everton’s defence, with Kane and Son in particular running riot within it.
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There was plenty of hospitality on show from the home side: a choir sang an anti-war ballad before kick-off after both teams had warmed up in t-shirts supporting the people of Ukraine, and the Tottenham stadium announcer tried to spare some of Keane’s blushes when he told the crowd that it was Kane who scored the opener, although it wasn’t. Dele Alli’s introduction just after the hour mark was also greeted with a raucous rendition of the “we’ve got Dele” chant, a reminder that he is still held in high regard in these parts.
It was probably the only bright spark for Everton, along with the eager running of Anthony Gordon, but they are now in dire need of points, not sparks, with the ever-present ghost of a first-ever Premier League relegation just a point away.
“Lampard’s going down,” the South Stand sang in the dying minutes, all the earlier hospitality forgotten. The conclusion to draw from this meeting between two of the Premier League’s ever-presents was that there may indeed only be one of them here next year.
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